


I've Kept My Insides Empty for You

by waitingforwonhui



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Drinking, Fluff, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Not too much, a little angsty, but this is a sequel to a previous work, drunk wonwoo is an ass, it gets resolved, it will make more sense if you read the other first, it's way too late for tagging, junhui breaks up, the final chapter will be worth it, this couple needed a big fight, wonwoo waits for him to come back, you won't even notice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-19 16:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui
Summary: "He's just confused and... scared, I guess. I'm sure he'll come around...""And what will you do in the meantime?""I'll wait.""Wonwoo, what," the concern in Seungcheol's voice is rising. "What if he doesn't?"Wonwoo looks up, eyes piercing, voice firm this time. "I will wait."





	1. I'll Wait

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [We're Roommates](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15342096) by [waitingforwonhui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui). 



> this is a SEQUEL to "We're Roommates" which I published about half a year ago. parts of it will only make sense if you read that story first, so I highly recommend going there first.

Wonwoo is in the back of the car. Eyes looking outside the window, focusing a mop of brown hair disappearing into the Performance Unit car with one last wave of the pale, graceful hand. It stirs something inside Wonwoo, as it always does, as _he_ always does. This time it's not light as it used to be. These days it feels like a tight knot, a dark place of suppressed feelings he doesn't want to show, let alone address.

 

"What's going on with the two of you?" Wonwoo looks up, suddenly confronted by a worried look on Seungcheol's face. He looks around himself. Mingyu is not at his usual spot next to him, which means he must still be doing some fan service outside the car. Hansol is already in the seat behind him, headphones on, phone in his hands. Everything seems normal. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow.

 

"I mean you and Junhui...", Seungcheol adds.

 

"Oh," is all Wonwoo can offer.

 

"Looking at you one could think you guys hate each other. You should fix it before Carats start noticing and asking questions too."

 

Wonwoo looks down, fingers fumbling with the mini ventilator in his hands. He hates how thin his voice sounds when he says it. "We don't hate each other, we love each other."

 

Seungcheol sighs. "You have a weird way of showing that."

 

"He's just confused and... scared, I guess. I'm sure he'll come around..." If he is honest, Wonwoo isn't really sure of anything but he has to believe. Any other option doesn't really work out for him.

 

"And what will you do in the meantime?"

 

"I'll wait."

 

"Wonwoo, what," the concern in Seungcheol's voice is rising. "What if he doesn't?"

 

Wonwoo looks up, eyes piercing, voice firm this time. "I will wait." 

 

"He doesn't deserve you."

 

"He deserves the world and you know it."

 

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

 

"Thank you but it's not necessary. I already have Minghao on it."

 

"I see."

 

* * *

 

They only dated for a month and a half. Roughly. It went by so fast. Junhui was barely even in Korea at that time, but every moment they had together just felt right for Wonwoo. Like that's how it was always supposed to be, how it should've stayed. 

 

Apparently, Junhui was not on the same page. After one of his trips to China, he suddenly decided that it would be the best for them to break up. Junhui always had his weak moments. Times when he was confused or stressed. Wonwoo knew that his boyfriend - well, ex-boyfriend now - tended to be a little impulsive. So, he let him go.

 

When Junhui broke up with him, Wonwoo was so sure that he'd come back the next day in true Junhui manner, all weird and wiggly telling him that he didn't mean it. That he was just insecure and stupid and Wonwoo would let him back in. As he always did. He'd listen to the melodic voice he loved so much then he'd pull him in for a hug and tell him that everything would be fine because it would. It was _always_ fine afterwards.

 

This time, however, Junhui didn't come back. He barely looked at Wonwoo the next day. He definitely avoided him. That's how it's been all this time. He understood why Seungcheol was concerned. Things were awkward at best.

 

* * *

 

The group is gathered in a dressing room. Another touch up on the make-up they've been sporting for 10 hours straight now. Promotions are tough but they're used to it. If it wasn't for the blemishes sprouting on their faces underneath countless layers of foundation, they wouldn't even be able to tell.

 

He can see the subject of his agony sprawled across a couch in the back of the room. Already touched up, perfect, typing on his phone. Wonwoo often wonders whom Junhui is texting these days. It's definitely not him. Not anymore.

 

Suddenly, his eyes meet Soonyoung's. The dancer instantly putting one and one together. "Can't you two lovebirds just make up already? I kinda miss accidentally walking in on you making out in strange places, to be honest."

 

Wonwoo gives him a look he wishes could kill. He can see Junhui uncomfortably shifting in the background, suddenly on his feet. He only feels a cool breeze as the Chinese walks past him to the door. Opens it. Gone.

 

"What's wrong with you, man?" If his look can't kill Soonyoung, he'll surely strangle him in his sleep.

 

Soonyoung looks at the door, then at Wonwoo again, mouth open, visibly shocked. "Is it too soon to joke about it?"

 

Wonwoo follows Junhui outside, the other already disappeared when he feels a hand on his wrist. "I'll go check on him."

 

He lets Minghao go look for Junhui. He wouldn't really know what to say anyway. It's not his fault, he knows. None of it is his fault. He didn't ask for Soonyoung to tease them. He didn't even want to break up in the first place.

 

* * *

 

Technically, with their new room arrangement now that they have two apartments for the 13 of them, he shares a room with Seungcheol. The two of them, however, have amassed so much gaming equipment that there's only space for one bed in their room and when he got out of the shower earlier, he found Seungcheol fast asleep on that bed already. So, as per usual, Wonwoo is sleeping in the spare bed in the living room. He's used to it and he actually likes it like that because there is a clear division between his gaming time, his rest time and work time.

 

Just as he turns off all the lights and lies down to actually go to sleep. He can hear someone at the front door. For a moment, Wonwoo fears it's a burglar, or worse, a sasaeng who somehow found out where they lived. He gets a grip right away, though, because he can hear the person on the other side typing in the code to their door lock. It's either another member from the downstairs dorm or a manager - either way, he wonders what the hell they're looking for in the middle of the night when he's the only person still awake.

 

Someone comes in, stops in their tracks and slowly closes the door behind themselves. Wonwoo's night vision has adapted well by now and even without his glasses, he knows exactly who this is. He didn't even have to look. Wonwoo is sure he would recognise Junhui just by his breathing. Just by being in the same room with him.

 

Junhui's soft voice pierces through the perfect silence. "Wonu?"

 

Wonwoo doesn't answer. Not because he doesn't want to. He's shocked, relieved, scared and happy at the same time. Junhui is here, in the middle of the night, looking for him. He didn't hear that voice say his name in a while and the shock of it paralyses him for a minute there. 

 

Junhui turns around again, reaches for the doorknob. "Jun, wait. I'm awake."

 

Junhui jumps up a bit which makes Wonwoo smile. "Woah, you scared me."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"C-can we talk?"

 

Wonwoo doesn't know where this is going. "Now?"

 

"You're right, it's really late. I'm sorry, you probably want to sl-"

 

"No, don't go. We can talk. Do you... do you want to come over here?" There were times he'd just throw himself at Junhui as soon as the elder entered a room and now he's not even sure if he can ask him to come and sit down on his bed.

 

"Sure."

 

As Junhui slowly moves towards Wonwoo, he suddenly lets out a loud shriek and plops face first horizontally onto Wonwoo's stretched out legs. "Ouch, I stepped on something... very... spiky."

 

Wonwoo suppresses a laugh. "It's probably one of Jihoon's figurines. He never cleans up after himself. Sorry about that."

 

"Sorry, for almost breaking your legs." Junhui straightens himself into sitting position. The small of his back is touching Wonwoo's leg and Wonwoo notices that it's probably the most physical contact they've had since they broke up.

 

They laugh at the incident. Everything is almost good. Almost perfect. Almost.

 

"Look, Wonwoo," Jun starts. "I was hoping we could - I mean... I don't like how things are right now."

 

He looks down at the delicate hands folded in his lap. Plump lips forming something like a pout, he seems to be thinking. Choosing his words. Wonwoo's heart does that thing it always does when he looks at Junhui. It might have moved from his chest to his throat for all he can say.

 

Before he even registers what he's doing, Wonwoo grabs one of those beautiful hands and squeezes. A pair of big doe eyes shoots up at him.

 

"I- I don't like it either. You know, the way things are right now. With us," he utters. Eloquently. "I miss you, Junnie."

 

He knows Junhui. He knows that his sudden confession just stirred up something within the Chinese. He can see it in the way those big eyes sparkle, then move down to his own lips, then up to his eyes again. Before Wonwoo can stop himself, he leans in. 

 

Junhui's lips are soft. So soft. Softer even than he remembers. It's as if they'd never broken up. Their mouths perfectly match each other. Like they've only been made to kiss the other. Wonwoo can feel Junhui lean in more. He pulls him down as he himself lies down on the pillow. One hand at the back of Junhui's head, the other on his side pressing him down on his own body as much as possible.

 

Wonwoo's head is spinning. Partly because of the lack of oxygen he is currently getting and partly because his suffering seems to have finally come to an end. He can't wrap his mind around what made Junhui come back to him. He doesn't really care. They'll talk it out. In the morning. Hopefully.

 

Junhui is now lying flat on top of Wonwoo. Their lips have not even parted once since the initial kiss. Wonwoo's hands are roaming freely around the elder's upper body, disappearing behind the thin layer of his pyjamas shirt then reappearing again. 

 

He feels Junhui shiver. "Are you cold?"

 

"No," he can see the blush on Junhui's cheeks as he speaks breathlessly. "I'm just- well..."

 

Wonwoo can tell. He can feel Junhui's bulge on his own crotch. He didn't want to assume they'd just have sex now, they've barely even gotten back together. Fuck it, he thinks. He's always been a man of opportunity. So, he grabs Junhui by his butt cheeks and pulls him up, so that the Chinese is straddling his chest. Wonwoo pushes himself up to lean on the headboard, Junhui's crotch right in front of his face.

 

"Wonu- we can't," Junhui starts but abruptly stops protesting when one of Wonwoo's hand comes to palm and massage his crotch. 

 

"Oh?" Wonwoo is amused. "No underwear?"

 

"I- ah- I was doing laundry... before I came here."

  
Again, Wonwoo is a man of opportunity. With one swift move, he pulls down Junhui's pyjama pants as far as possible. The other's throbbing member practically hitting him across the face. 

 

Junhui moans with Wonwoo's mouth around his cock. It feels all so familiar. The smell. The taste. The weight in his mouth. Those beautiful sounds from the man above him. It doesn't take long for Junhui to come. Wonwoo swallows for logistic reasons, but also because he just really wants it. 

 

Wonwoo loves watching Junhui come down from a high that he's given him. He brushes some strands of hair out of his face, while Junhui just sits on top of him, panting. Wrecked and so incredibly beautiful. 

 

Suddenly, a door opens. Someone is walking towards the living room. Junhui jumps up and pulls up his pyjama pants in the speed of light. He's standing next to the bed now, very obviously in distress. Wonwoo thinks it's cute. 

 

"Jun?" Seungcheol's voice breaks the short silence. "What are you doing here?"

 

The leader is standing right in front of Junhui now. "I was just... I just wanted to talk to Wonwoo, but... it's late now, I should go. Right. We have schedules tomorrow. I'll be on my way."

 

He turns to Wonwoo. "Good night."

 

"Good night," Wonwoo replies with a chuckle as he watches Junhui embarrassingly waddle out of the apartment. 

 

Seungcheol gives him a confused look. "Did I say something wrong?"

 

"I don't think so. I think he was just, you know, embarrassed."

 

"Why would he be-", if it wasn't Wonwoo's dishevelled appearance that gave it away, it probably is the grin plastered on his face. "Oh god, Wonwoo. Here? In the living room? Seriously?"

 

Seungcheol just shakes his head. Gives him one last semi-angry look then disappears again. Wonwoo goes to bed too. A smile plastered across his face, the taste of Junhui still in his mouth. He feels happy for the first time in a while. 


	2. Word Vomit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: there's alcohol and Wonwoo is a bit of an ass. but he's hurting, so...

Wonwoo was expecting one of many different outcomes for the next day. He pictured Junhui and himself talking it out then they either laugh or cry or fight or make out but every scenario ends in them getting back together. That's why Junhui came to his room yesterday after all.

 

The only thing he doesn't expect is what actually happens. When he goes to sit down next to Junhui, the other smiles shortly, a broken smile that looks everything but genuine then excuses himself, gets up and walks away. Junhui is still avoiding him. Maybe even more now than before. 

 

Wonwoo knows Junhui is easily embarrassed about getting caught having sex or making out or in any way being romantic with him but this is completely off. Even for his standards. Wonwoo's confusion about their break-up is growing irritably. He's growing angry too.

 

He decides to go to the only person who could potentially help him out of his misery. Minghao; Junhui's favourite dongsaeng, confidant and probably best friend. If Junhui's told anyone why he left Wonwoo, it's probably Minghao. Also, the younger Chinese just always seems to know what other people think and feel without them even having to say a word. He is a little creepy like that but Wonwoo likes him.

 

* * *

 

"He doesn't always tell me everything, hyung," Minghao is on his bed reading a Chinese book when Wonwoo decides to see him. "Did you consider just asking him directly?"

 

"Ask him what? He's avoiding me."

 

"Why he broke up with you in the first place."

 

Minghao has a point but Wonwoo doesn't like his point. Did he ever just ask Junhui straight out why he broke up with him? The answer is: no. He did not. He wanted to but he just didn't. 

 

All this time he's been telling himself that he didn't get to it. He's been telling himself that he didn't ask him because he didn't think Junhui had a good enough reason. He was so sure it was just another round of Junhui panicking about things that didn't really matter. Things he, Wonwoo, would clear up for him as soon as he knew what they were. He was so sure that Junhui would come back to him just a few days later because it didn't make sense for them to be apart. After everything it took them to finally end up together, this break-up thing just didn't add up.

 

Wonwoo has been telling himself that's the reason he never got around to ask Junhui but right now, at this moment, in front of Minghao who is flat out asking him this question, Wonwoo starts to think that maybe he didn't ask on purpose. What if Junhui really just doesn't want to be with him. What if there is a very good reason why they can't be together, one that would make sense even to Wonwoo. What if finding out about it would seal the deal on their break-up. Once and for all. Wonwoo is not ready to let him go. He has not asked because he's _scared_ of the answer.

 

Minghao seems to catch up on the whirlwind inside of Wonwoo's head. "Hyung..."

 

"When did I become like this, 8?"

 

"Like what?"

 

"I used to be so sure of myself, of everything. I used to be unbothered. I used to just know things. I don't know anything anymore, nothing makes sense and my head can barely catch a break."

 

"You really love him, huh?" Minghao's voice is soft but Wonwoo can hear the pity coming through. "Wen Junhui is a piece of work, hyung."

 

"Tell me about it."

 

"He's so annoying..."

 

" _So_ annoying."

 

"He never listens."

 

"You can literally say the same thing over and over again, nothing."

 

"But you know what?" Minghao waits for Wonwoo to look at him. "He's also kind and selfless, he wouldn't hurt a fly and if he really likes you, he doesn't stop. _Ever._ "

 

Wonwoo smiles. He understands what the younger is telling him. He should talk to Junhui, he should just ask and whatever the answer, he'll deal with it. "Thanks, 8. You know, if this idol life doesn't work out for you in a couple of years, you should consider opening your own counselling practice. Just an idea."

 

* * *

 

The loudspeakers are blasting a Western pop song when Wonwoo heads to the bar to get his third drink of the night. The group and some staff all gathered in a bar they frequent to celebrate a successful wrap-up of promotions for 'Oh My!'. It was a short promotion period but the song was surprisingly popular. Well, not that surprisingly, Jihoon's songs just get better but considering that the preparation period for this comeback was the shortest they ever had, they weren't expecting for it to get as successful as it was. Hence, the celebratory drinking gathering.

 

It comes at the right time for Wonwoo. After all, drinking is the only thing he hasn't tried yet to get his mind off of the fact that he's still broken up with Junhui. It seems to be working, as he sips on his third soju bomb, he thinks he's forgetting all about it already.

 

He's forgetting how, right now behind his back, Junhui is laughing at something with Vernon. He can see the two of them leaning over Vernon's phone in the mirror behind the bar. Junhui's laugh is genuine. He seems just fine, happy even. Wonwoo drinks faster. He likes Vernon. Out of all the people in the whole world, Vernon is probably one of his favourites but he also wants him to go away right now. He drinks faster. For some reason, he's really hoping they're not laughing at cat videos. Why would it matter? He doesn't know. He orders another drink.

 

He doesn't remember how many more drinks he added but suddenly, he finds himself following Junhui to the restroom. As soon as the door to the men's room closes behind him and the sound of the music is somewhat smothered, Wonwoo speaks out. "Why did you break up with me?"

 

Junhui turns around fast. He looks shocked. He starts looking around himself. There's nobody else in the room. Of course, Wonwoo hasn't checked the stalls. He doesn't care right now. " _Why?_ "

 

"Wonwoo, we're in public, please...", Junhui's eyes are big. Innocent. Frightened. That's the problem with Junhui, his eyes, they always look innocent. It's misleading. Wonwoo has been misled. 

 

"I don't fucking care, Jun, okay? So, why the hell did you break up-" Suddenly, he has Junhui's hand over his mouth. Junhui's body very close to his own. Junhui's shocked face right behind that hand on Wonwoo's face. Things are getting blurry from his point of view.

 

"Let's go home, okay?" Junhui's other hand circles around his wrist. Wonwoo finds himself nodding in agreement.

 

Before they leave the bar, Wonwoo catches Junhui talking to Jeonghan. The elder is looking at him with a concerned face. He nods to Junhui. He says something. Now, Junhui is walking towards him. "Let's go."

 

* * *

 

Junhui has to steady him on their way home. He leads him inside a room, makes him sit on a bed, then goes and turns on a light. Wonwoo knows this room. It's Junhui's and Seungkwan's and Dino's room. They're back at the dorms. "You should drink some water."

 

The Chinese is holding a bottle in front of his face but Wonwoo doesn't feel like drinking anything right now. He still hasn't forgotten why they're here. He's annoyed that Junhui seems to have hoped otherwise.

 

"No, thanks." He pushes the bottle away. "Like you even care."

 

"Wonwoo, I _do_ care... I hate that I hurt you like this." Junhui's face looks worried but he's also a good actor, so Wonwoo doesn't really know. He's too drunk to know. All he knows is that he's done playing around. He's done being nice about this ridiculous break-up. He's done not asking questions and he's done trying not to offend Junhui. 

 

"Yeah, right," he snorts. "If you really hated it that much, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. Or, you know, maybe at least you would've had the courtesy to tell me why the hell you felt the need to leave me and then just go on with life as if nothing happened."

 

He can feel it all coming out. He thinks he should stop talking but he can't. The alcohol seems to have removed all filters, all carefulness, all hope. "For fuck's sake, Jun, if you cared, you wouldn't have ignored me for weeks."

 

Junhui has moved away from him a bit. One of his hands holding the upper arm of the other. "I know how you feel-"

 

" _What?_ " Wonwoo was screaming now. The alcohol must have erased all sense of volume too. "You _know_? You think you know how I feel? You have no fucking idea, Jun. Have you asked me how I feel? Hm? In the last five weeks since we broke up. Did you ask me, one single time, how I was?"

 

"No." Junhui's voice was unbearably small. "Hao told me-"

 

"Of course, _Hao_ , right." Wonwoo snorts, shaking his head at himself. "There I was, stupid Wonwoo, asking him to help me figure out what happened with us, pouring my heart out. Stupid. I should've known, Minghao is _your_ bitch."

 

"Wonwoo-" Junhui starts.

 

Wonwoo interrupts him. "You know what I don't understand? Why the hell did you come to my room the other night if you just wanted to keep avoiding me afterwards anyway? What did you even want to talk about?"

 

Junhui sighs. "I wasn't sure myself, I guess, I just wanted to see if we can figure out how to be friends again."

 

" _Friends?_ You want us to be friends again? Friends don't fucking come to you in the middle of the night and put their fucking dick in your mouth, Jun. Or do you do that with Minghao, too?" Wonwoo is crossing a line. He doesn't stop himself. "Do you do that with Vernon? Hm? Did you use to do that with Mingming too?"

 

Wonwoo doesn't really know why he feels the need to ask about those people in particular. It seems like everyone he ever felt the slightest bit jealous of is popping into his mind right now and his mouth has lost all ability to resist saying things out loud. 

 

Junhui looks confused, maybe sad, maybe even disgusted. Wonwoo can't tell anymore. "Mingming?"

 

"Did you forget about him? He used to train with us. You guys were all touchy-feely back then, makes me wonder now if there was more. Maybe you did the same thing to him. Maybe that's why he left. I never understood why he wanted to go but maybe it was because of _you_. It makes sense."

 

Junhui's eyes are big again. They are glossy too. Wonwoo thinks that maybe Junhui had a drink too many as well. He feels comfort in that. 

 

"So, who is next? Who is your next victim? Is it Yenan?"

 

"Wonwoo, please... stop..." Junhui's voice sounds shaky but maybe that's just the alcohol. 

 

"Stop what? I deserve to know, we should talk it out. If you want to be _friends_ , you know, we have to be open and honest with each other. That's what friends do, right? So, did you cheat on me with Yenan?"

 

"What?" Wonwoo wonders how many more times Junhui would look at him in shock tonight. "I didn't cheat on you."

 

"Right, you're not the cheating type. So, I guess, you broke up with me so you two can be together. Clear conscious. Makes sense. I mean, I watched that show, I could see the chemistry. You know, I've been studying Chinese for years now... I guess, I always tried to impress you somehow. But I'm not... Chinese. There are things you guys share that I will never understand."

 

His vision is starting to get really blurry. He can see Junhui covering his face with his hands but he doesn't really know why, he wants to ask but as soon as he opens his mouth, it all comes out. Not another word vomit. Just vomit.


	3. The Next Morning

His head is spinning when he wakes up. He opens his eyes to a painfully bright room that he instantly recognises as not his own. It's also not the living room he tends to sleep in. Wonwoo has always been blessed with a great memory, one that is not easily erased even by a ludicrous amount of alcohol. Yesterday's events hit him harder than his hangover. "Shit, Jun!"

 

He doesn't really expect an answer but it comes from the opposite corner of the room. "Over here."

 

Wonwoo shoots up on the bed, a big mistake he realises as soon as a piercing headache makes itself noticeable. "Ouch!"

 

"Are you okay?" Junhui has stood up from where he was sitting in the corner just seconds ago. He walks towards where Wonwoo is seated. "I would offer you water but last time I did, things went, well... south."

 

"Jun, I'm so sorry. Yesterday... what I said... everything... it was uncalled for... I don't even know what got into me. I don't even believe half of the stuff I said. Gosh, I just-"

 

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it now. You should-"

 

"No, we do. _I do_. It's not okay, I didn't have the- wait, where's Seungkwan? And Chan?" Wonwoo suddenly realises that they are alone in the room with three beds.

 

"All good, I asked Jeonghan to take care of them for the night, so that I could take care of... you," Junhui speaks as he scratches the back of his head. Wonwoo starts to notice more things now. He's 99% sure he threw up on the floor before he passed out last night but it's clean now. He also notices that it's only 6 am but both of the other two beds are made. Junhui looks worn out and he's wearing an apron.

 

"Have you been up all night?"

 

Junhui looks at the floor.

 

"Also, what's with the apron? Are you making breakfast?"

 

Junhui shakes his head. "Hangover-soup."

 

The guilt settles deeper inside of Wonwoo. "Thanks."

 

"If it makes you feel any better, half of the group is probably going to need it," Junhui says with a small, consoling smile.

 

It doesn't make Wonwoo feel better. "Jun, I'm so sorry. For what I said. For throwing up on your floor. For getting drunk in the first place. We always knew I was a bit of an asshole but that was a whole new low even for me."

 

"You're not an asshole."

"Jun..."

 

"Alright, you have your asshole-y moments but I get it. I mean, I was the one who handled this break-up poorly. I shouldn't have just ignored you. And you were right last night, I didn't even ask you how you were... I didn't even give you an explanation."

 

"Still, I didn't have the right to just... say all those horrible things to you. I was just so... _angry_." He cringes when he says that word. "How you could move on so quickly while I... I felt like I couldn't even breathe properly without you."

 

Junhui sits down on the bed opposite him. "Wonwoo, I'm really sorry. _Really_. That was horrible. And," Junhui is tearing up and Wonwoo doesn't know if he's allowed to walk over and embrace him, so he doesn't. "I didn't move on quickly. Gosh, I didn't move on at all but I guess, it's easier for me. After all, I am the one who chose this."

 

Junhui has full on tears streaming down his cheeks now and Wonwoo thinks screw it. He falls on his knees in front of the Chinese and grabs his hands to hold them. At least that. He should be okay to do that. "Junnie-"

 

"No, Wonwoo, look... I've had a crush on you for so long. When we got together, I guess, a part of me never believed that you actually loved me too. A part of me still thought one day you'd just wake up and realise that I'm not that special, not that interesting anymore... When I broke up with you, I didn't think it would hit you hard. I didn't think it would hit you much at all. I didn't think you needed an explanation... and you let me go so easily, I didn't know how much I hurt you," he is sobbing. "What I did to you was horrible. C-can you ever for-forgive me?"

 

"Of course, I can. I've already forgiven you," Wonwoo doesn't care anymore. He sits up next to Junhui and takes him in his arms, Junhui's head resting on his chest. "It was never even a question. I just... Jun, you know, I've dated before. Not much but once or twice. You know how you get together with someone and even though you like them, even though you want to be with them, you also know you'll eventually break up? Like, you know they're not the one but you can't really say why and you can't be sure either, so you stick to them anyway. At least for a while. Then when one of you breaks up, it's like you saw it coming. Like, it doesn't really affect you that much?"

 

Junhui shakes his head on his chest. "I don't really kno-know... you were my first boyfriend."

 

Wonwoo can't help but smile at that. "It doesn't really matter. The thing is, I didn't have that with you. Not even a bit, not for a minute of the time we were together. I just really wanted you, Jun. Then when we got together, I didn't even realise it at the time but I guess, I thought that was it. Like, the thought of potentially being with you for the rest of my life didn't feel wrong. It didn't scare me. When you broke up with me, I guess, I just thought this couldn't be right. I was so sure you'd come back because that's just how it's supposed to be. You and I."

 

He loosens his hold on Junhui a little bit. "But you didn't come back and it just got so... hard... to just... _be_." 

 

"I'm so sorry, Wonu."

"No, I'm sorry. Jun," Wonwoo breaks the hug and takes Junhui's face in his hands. "Is there any way we can go back together?"

 

Junhui avoids his gaze and only so slightly shakes his head. The pieces of Wonwoo's heart break some more.

 

"Why?"

 

Junhui makes Wonwoo let go of his face then turns around to take a sip of the water he originally brought for the other to drink. He blows out air to compose himself then looks at Wonwoo again. "First of all, I don't know how much of what you said yesterday you actually meant but I just want to clear things up. I owe you that much."

 

"Jun, it's fine. Forget about that."

 

"No, I want you to know. So, first, I really hope you know I don't do anything sexual with Minghao or Hansol-"

 

"I know, that was stupid-"

 

"Hansol is just really nice to be around. He doesn't judge me or make fun of me or correct my Korean all the time, I feel like I can just be myself with him. I guess that's why I like to hang out with him from time to time. Hao, well, honestly, I felt a little disgusted when you suggested I do anything with him. He's like my brother. I honestly don't think I feel any different about Minghao and my _actual_ brother back home."

 

"Jun, really, you don't have to explain yourself... I was just being a jealous asshole."

 

"Then, Mingming..."

 

"Oh _god_ ," Wonwoo wants to go back to past Wonwoo from yesterday and slap him across his stupid, drunk face.

 

"Mingming had a lot of his own issues back then, I don't think he left because of me..."

 

"Oh my god, Jun, of course, he didn't. I should've never even mentioned him, I should've never said anything, I just wanted to hurt you on purpose because I was so fucking jealous."

 

"I know but it's so ironic. You know, Mingming would often get really annoyed with me because I wouldn't shut up about this one cute trainee with a beanie."

 

Wonwoo wants to slap himself for the second time because of how happy that just made him feel.

 

"Anyway, Mingming and I were not a thing. He just helped me out so much when I came to Korea. It was so hard in the beginning, I couldn't understand what was going on most of the time, let alone keep up with you guys when it came to training. Things were just much easier with Mingming around and then Hao came and Mingming left and I thought that now I had to be _that_ for him. I had to be Hao's Mingming and make things easier for him, as much as I could. I guess that's what made us grow so close. Hao and I, mutual co-dependence, but I never had feelings for him."

 

Wonwoo thinks how ironic it is that after all these years as group mates, friends, even after being in a relationship and intimate together, he has never felt as close to Junhui as now at this moment. Hungover and broken up. 

 

"That brings me to Yenan."

 

"Look, Jun, it's really fine. You don't have to explain all about it-"

 

"No, it's important because," Junhui pauses. He looks like he is trying to find the right words. "Why I broke up with you, it actually does have something to do with Yenan."

 

The pieces of Wonwoo's heart seem to have started to migrate downwards to his stomach. Or maybe it's the remains of alcohol in his system, he feels like he wants to throw up again. He doesn't.

 

Junhui seems to notice the panic in Wonwoo's face. "Not like that, I mean. I've known Yenan for a very long time, I've never been interested in him like that."

 

Wonwoo is confused, to say the least. "So, what did he do to make you break up with me?"

 

"It's nothing he _did_ , more like things he said."

 

"He said stuff about me? He doesn't even really know me!" Wonwoo is getting a little irritated.

 

"No, will you just listen? He didn't say anything about _you_ , he didn't even know we were together," Junhui started playing around with the hem of his apron. "Yenan has a lot of health related issues right now. Mostly caused by stress. It's really bad, Wonu, he has to leave the show."

 

Wonwoo feels a little bad for the guy but he still fails to grasp what all of it has to do with his and Junhui's relationship.

 

"Anyway, he told me about his own group. One of his group members has caused quite the scandal because he's dating, you probably heard."

 

"Yeah, all of Korea heard."

"Yeah, anyway, Yenan says he's happy for them as a couple but that member has to leave the group now and it's really bad for them. They've just had their biggest hit and now they're rapidly losing fans. He's worried about the group's future and his own career and whether all the hard work was for nothing. Like, how do you fix something like that? It just got me thinking and I felt like I had to do something so that doesn't happen to us."

 

"So, you left me because of Pentagon's declining popularity?" No matter how he says it, it sounds ridiculous to Wonwoo.

 

"No, I broke up with you because I don't want that same thing to happen to Seventeen just on a larger scale... because we're both guys."

 

Wonwoo opens his mouth to say something but Junhui cuts him off. "We're doing so well right now and I know that 2019 is going to be so big for Seventeen, I would never forgive myself if I mess things up for us just because I finally got my longtime crush to return my feelings. There are 11 other people's lives on the line. We're not teenagers anymore, we have to think of the greater good here and I didn't know how to explain this to you in a way that it won't sound like a sorry excuse, so I didn't say anything when I broke up and you didn't ask."

 

When Junhui stops talking, the relief sets in. Wonwoo sighs then laughs out loud. He can't help it. All this agony, all this fear for nothing. Junhui didn't just randomly stop loving him. He didn't fall in love with someone else. He didn't even get tired of Wonwoo. He was just his overly caring, silly self. Wonwoo laughs louder.

 

"Why are you laughing?" Junhui looks so adorably confused that Wonwoo almost leans in to kiss him. Almost.

 

"You're just so cute."

 

"What?"

 

"It's just... I can totally see how you would have built all of that up into a serious issue in your mind. It's so cute."

 

"Wonwoo, it is a serious issue!" Junhui looked thoroughly appalled.

 

"It's really not," Wonwoo tries to compose himself. He can't believe he has to explain to Junhui why they are getting back together, like, _now._ "See, neither of us would be stupid enough to go public with our homosexual relationship at this point in our careers, right? So, the fact that we are a gay couple in the same group is actually going for us."

 

"What do you mean?" Junhui seems as confused as Wonwoo was just minutes ago.

 

"Honestly, think about it. If you were spotted walking down the street holding hands with, well, I don't know, a _PRISTIN member_ for instance, what do you think the press would say?"

 

"That the PRISTIN member and I are dating, obviously."

 

"Obviously, but if you were spotted walking down the street holding hands with me, another Seventeen member. What do you think the headline would be there?"

 

Junhui looks at Wonwoo with a frown. "Two Seventeen members... out and about?"

 

"Something like that. If it makes the headlines at all because we walk around with our members all the time, it's no big deal. They might even love how close we are. Then there are Carats who love to see the members being all touchy with each other, they'd love that. Especially, a very select few who think we'd be cute together anyway."

 

Wonwoo holds Junhui's hand. "Do you see what I mean? In this sadly rather homophobic society, we could literally make out on the stage and they'd just assume it's _fanservice_. People tend to turn a blind eye to things they don't understand and as sad as it is that our relationship wouldn't be accepted, we're actually very safe to be with each other in secret in front of everyone."

 

Wonwoo can tell that what he says is starting to dawn on Junhui. "Junnie, I honestly love you for being so cute and thoughtful, but I can't believe you broke up with me for such a stupid reason."

 

"I just saw how ill and worn out Yenan was and the thought of me being the reason another Seventeen member looks like that one day, I would not be able to live with myself."

 

"You won't have to, I promise. Honestly, Junnie, I think more than half of our fandom genuinely believes that Hansol and Seungkwan are more than just friends. Some people even think I might have feelings for Mingyu!"

 

Junhui snorts then breaks into laughter.

 

"I know! Ridiculous!" Wonwoo laughs with him. "There's really nothing to worry about as long as we keep the whole sex thing behind closed doors and I think we can manage that."

 

"Barely."

 

"Junnie, please, tell me that it's all good again and we're back together because I swear if I have to go one more day without kissing you, I might actually die."

 

Junhui laughs then places his hands at the front of Wonwoo's shirt to pull him in. "Come here."

 

Finally, Wonwoo thinks. They kiss and his world makes sense again. At least until Junhui pulls away rather quickly into the kiss. He cringes and Wonwoo understands right away. "I smell like vomit."

 

"Yep," Junhui is holding in laughter. "How about you go brush your teeth... and maybe take a shower and I'll get you some hangover-soup. How does that sound?"

 

"Sounds like I have a drinking problem and you're the silently suffering housewife."

 

Junhui laughs out for real now. Wonwoo thinks how much he missed to see him like that. He gets up to go to the shower but just before he wants to leave through the door, he turns around. "One more thing."

 

Junhui's big eyes look up at him from where he's still seated on the bed. "Yes?"

 

"I love you, Moon Junnie."

 

The Chinese chuckles. "I know, Wonwon."

 

"Really."

 

"I believe you."

 

"Do you?"

 

"Yes, and I love you too."

 

"Good, just wanted to make sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one tiny disclaimer: I fully support E'Dawn and Hyuna's relationship, just wrote it like this for the sake of the storyline.
> 
> hope you're not disappointed by the end of this. the way I wrote the characters, it makes sense for Junnie to overthink things to this extent and Wonwoo has to clear things up as always. I felt they needed a bigger hurdle in their relationship after I finished the other story, so I had this sequel playing in my head for a while now.
> 
> I will leave this couple alone now, though, no more sequels. they lived happily ever after haha
> 
> thanks for all the comments and how invested you are in this WonHui, would love to hear how you liked the ending. also, drabble promts are always welcome. I only write WonHui but it doesn't have to be non-au or canon. :)


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